Friday, October 7, 2016

Microstory 425: Floor 18 (Part 1)

Public Health and Public Safety are not the same thing. No, it was not at all my responsibility to make sure Analion products didn’t kill people. Im here as an ambassador to Mother Earth. I’m supposed to make sure that we protect the environment, and use sustainable methods in all facets of our operation. As it stands, I’ve been able to accomplish about three percent of what I wanted. That’s just an estimate, because I know I’ve had more than zero impact, but not by that much. If I had it my way, our new headquarters would have been constructed to be completely self-sufficient. We would have generated solar and wind power, recycled our urine, cultivated an herb garden on the roof, and done a ton of other things. 21st century building codes helped make some of my dreams a reality, but our real problems can be found in our construction. We go through wood like it grows on trees. Well, I mean…of course it does; that was a stupid thing to say, but you know what I mean. I don’t want you to kill a tree and then replace it with another—which, by the way, Analion does not do—I want you to not kill the tree in the first place. Wood and glass windows have no place in the modern world. Carbon polymers are more than capable of supporting the whole planet’s construction needs. This technology is cheaper, easier to handle, and much quicker to assemble. So why do people, including Analion executives, insist on remaining in the dark ages? I imagine it has to do with a distaste for change. Why did people fall out of our windows and die? They were made of unreliable wood and glass, which I was unable to stop them from using. Once I get past this whole thing where people are under the impression that it was my job to inspect the products for flaws, I’m going to quit. Ain’t nobody got time for these philistines.

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