Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Microstory 482: Floor 3 (Part 2)

Click here for a list of every floor.
Floor 4 (Part 2)


Food Service Worker 1: Food Service Worker 2, what the hell are you doing?
Food Service Worker 2: I’m doing what I always do for breakfast.
Food Service Worker 1: We can’t serve breakfast. We’re on lockdown. Didn’t you hear the announcement?
Food Service Worker 2: Of course, but that won’t last forever, and when they lift the lockdown, people will be hungry.
Food Service Worker 1: At least three people died. They’re not lifting it anytime soon. And when they do, they’re gonna send everybody home. Stop getting food out, you’ll just spoil it.
Food Service Worker 2: You don’t know they’ll send us home. We have to be prepared.
Food Service Worker 1: Part of the charm of all this tragedy is not having any responsibilities. Don’t create work for yourself, or for me.
Food Service Worker 2: That might be the absolute worst thing you’ve ever said. I’ll check the list.
Food Service Worker 1: Very funny.
Food Service Worker 2: No, really. There’s a list.
Food Service Worker 1: What are you talking about? Of all the things I’ve said that you don’t agree with?
Food Service Worker 2: No.
Food Service Worker 1: Oh, okay.
Food Service Worker 2: Of all the things you’ve said that no one in the world agrees with...except maybe white supremacists and Donald Trump.
Food Service Worker 1: Oh, don’t compare me to a man like that. Talk about saying terrible things. I can’t believe you’ve kept track of everything you hate about me. What would Food Services Manager have to say about this? Maybe I should go have a little chat with her right now.
Food Service Worker 2: Who do you think started the list?
Food Service Worker 1: Why are you telling me this?
Food Service Worker 2: I didn’t think you mind. You hate everybody anyway.
Food Service Worker 1: Well, why are you telling me just now?
Food Service Worker 2: It has just now come up.
Food Service Worker 1: I don’t hate everybody.
Food Service Worker 2: Yeah, you kinda do, and I don’t think you want to get into this.
Food Service Worker 1: Now I definitely wanna get into it.
Food Service Worker 2: All right, fine. All you talk about is how you used to work in this magical restaurant in New York City, and now you’re slummin’ it with the garbage people in a corporate cafeteria. I’ve got a little secret for ya, Food Service Worker 1; everybody likes tater tots. Not a human on this planet doesn’t like deep-fried grated potatoes. Not even your precious New York one-percent.
Food Service Worker 1: What about fruitarians?
Food Service Worker 2: And you’re contradictory. Do you think I really meant literally no one on the planet? Christ, you’re impossible.
Food Service Worker 1: I don’t have time for all this hyperbole. I’m goin’ out for a smoke; that is, unless you need me to do anything, like serve more potato grease cylinders.
Food Service Worker 2: No, but I think our soft drink contractor is bringing his puppy today. Maybe you’d like to give it a good kick? [...] Enjoy your kiss with cancer!

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