Monday, December 5, 2016

Microstory 466: Floor 20 (Part 2)

Resource Analyst: Hello? Can you hear me?
Snowglobe Recruiter: You’re fine on my end.
Resource Analyst: Oh, the connection was a little spotty for me, but we’re fine now.
Snowglobe Recruiter: Great.
Resource Analyst: First off, I would like to thank you for this opportunity. I’ve been reading up on your organization, and I must say, I find it fascinating. You have some interesting ideas about the future, and I’m very excited to contribute to your mission.
Snowglobe Recruiter: Is that your office? Are you at work right now?
Resource Analyst: Uhh...I am, is that not okay?
Snowglobe Recruiter: It’s all right with me. It just might be rather awkward if someone walks in.
Resource Analyst: Hardly anyone is on this floor right now. We’re in lockdown due to an accident, so no one else can show up anyway.
Snowglobe Recruiter: What accident?
Resource Analyst: Um, well, Alpha committed suicide in the atrium...and the elevator crashed. I don’t have a lot of details.
Snowglobe Recruiter: That’s terrible.
Resource Analyst: Yeah.
Snowglobe Recruiter:, if you could be any animal, what would you be?
Resource Analyst: I guess I would be a squirrel, because they spend all year gathering, and keeping track of, food so they have what they need in the winter. As a resource analyst, I have to understand how much the company needs in order to survive. And I just think—
Snowglobe Recruiter: So you’re, like, a hoarder?
Resource Analyst: What? No. I’m, uh...a jellyfish. Because, I’m, uh...immortal?
Snowglobe Recruiter: I was kidding.
Resource Analyst: Oh, okay. Squirrel is fine.
Snowglobe Recruiter: Tell me what your biggest weakness is. And don’t say that you’re a perfectionist.
Resource Analyst: [...]
Snowglobe Recruiter: Analyst? Are you still there.
Resource Analyst: I, um...well...
Snowglobe Recruiter: Yeah...?
Resource Analyst: I’m a perfectionist?
Snowglobe Recruiter: I didn’t catch that. Our connection was spotty again. What did you say?
Resource Analyst: I said that English class was always my worst subject. I don’t have the best verbal skills. I’m far better at maths, which is important for inventory and resource management, but I would like to be a better writer so that I can convey my ideas to other people effectively.
Snowglobe Recruiter: Oh, that’s what I thought you said. Why would you be a good fit for Snowglobe?
Resource Analyst: Well, I know that I don’t have as much as experience in the position you’re looking for, but I’m eager to learn, and ready to get to work.
Snowglobe Recruiter: Well, you’re older. That’s really all that matters. We’re not looking for experience so much as we’re looking for age, and those experience requirements get us there.
Resource Analyst: Oh, that’s great. I’m pretty old!
Snowblobe Recruiter: Haha, we’ll call you when we’ve made a decision. Buh-bye.

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