Monday, December 19, 2016

Microstory 476: Floor 9 (Part 2)

Product Developer 9: All right, Product Developer 9, you can do this. You are a strong, powerful, white man. You own this world. You’ve been through a lot, and you’ve earned your place within the organization. You deserve this, more than anyone. No, it is not too early to ask for a promotion. People die every day, and a lockdown is the perfect time because he won’t be able to leave. And when will you get another chance? The Head of Development doesn’t come downstairs every day. You have to do this. You belong in a management position, and no one can take that away from you. Now say it. Yes, again, say it. I am the creator. I know beauty, I am beauty. Art lives in my soul. Ive earned what I have, and am entitled to more. [...] Crap!
Senior Product Developer: That’s right, that’s what I was just doing. Sorry to be a party pooper, but it’s your fault for not checking the stalls before undergoing your daily affirmations. I just couldn’t stay here any longer, they get more cringe-worthy over time. Don’t be embarrassed, though. We’ve all heard them before. I’m not sure if you know how loud you are, but it’s never been a secret. Kind of like how Product Developer 4 is afraid of carousel animals, but not actual horses.
Product Developer 9: Oh my God...
Senior Product Developer: I know, right? I guess it’s because they go in circles and never get tired. If I may be so bold, I would like to offer my advice. As a strong, black man—who has actually earned a place in leadership, and didn’t just have college fraternity connections—I feel qualified to suggest you go ahead and wait on your little speech.
Product Developer 9: Why? You afraid they’ll listen to me, and choose to replace you?
Senior Product Developer: No, honey. I want you to succeed, which is why you should wait until after I quit and accept the job at Snowglobe.

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