Thursday, December 8, 2016

Microstory 469: Floor 17 (Part 2)

Engineer 1: What are you talking about? How did I have anything to do with the construction of the elevators.
Engineer 2: You were the lead engineer for this building project, which means you’re responsible for all construction aspects of it!
Engineer 1: First of all, that is not what that means! Where did you go to school? That’s not what my job entails! I’m not responsible for everything! Secondly, the elevators were created, and installed, by outside contractors, like they always are! And two, I don’t like your tone!
Engineer 2: I don’t like your tone!
Engineer 1: Screw you!
Engineer 2: Screw you!
Engineer 1: You were the head engineer, which means that it was your job to contract the elevator...uh, contractors! This is still your fault!
Engineer 2: It is absolutely not my fault! This was group project! Oh, you think I built this whole building myself? Yep, that’s what I did! Derpa deepity doody doo! I’m just gonna set this brick here, and lay some cement on top of it, and boom! A goddamn building is born! Isn’t she PRECIOUS!
Engineer 1: That’s not what I was saying!
Engineer 2: You’re an idiot is what you’re saying! Words come out, but all I hear is “blah, blah, blah, la, la, la, I’m an idiot! I got my degree from, like, Wyoming...or something!”
Engineer 1: Yeah, that sounds JUST like me, jackass!
Engineer 2: What did you call me?!
Engineer 1: I sorry. English not so good. Perhaps a better translation is the biggest douche in the universe!
Engineer 2: Oh, you’re one to talk!
Engineer 1: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Engineer 2: Just that maybe you could use a douche once in awhile!
Engineer 1: Oh my God, that is so sexist, and completely ignorant about the female body! I can’t believe you said that to me!
Engineer 2: I can’t believe you’re trying to blame me for an elevator crash! This is just like Tulsa Trip!
Engineer 1: That was a completely different situation! And I thought you didn’t want me to bring that up again, but here you are, trying to use it in an argument against me? As if.
Engineer 2: The 90s called, they don’t want their catchphrase back, because even they know how retarded you sound!
Engineer 1: What did I say about using that word!
Engineer 2: I have no idea! When you talk, I usually just tune out and hope you’ll eventually get bored, and WALK AWAY!
Engineer 1: Oh I’m walkin’ away!
Engineer 2: Good!
Engineer 1: Fine!
Engineer 2: Great!
Engineer 1: Perfect!
Engineer 2: Wouldn’t have it any other way!
Engineer 1: I’ll see you at home!
Engineer 2: I’m cooking chicken tetrazzini!

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