Epsilon: What’s this I hear about pushing Alpha out of the company?
Iota: I don’t know one thing about it.
Epsilon: Omicron and Theta have apparently been working on a completely new business plan. They want to dramatically reduce the workforce and streamline company operations.
Iota: In response to the window crisis?
Epsilon: From what I gather, they’ve wanted to do this for a long time.
Iota: Do you think it’s a good idea?
Epsilon: I have a different idea.
Epsilon: I have a different idea.
Iota: What might that be.
Epsilon: ...
Iota: You can trust me. Honest.
Epsilon: Omicron wants to shrink the workforce, and to a certain extent, that’s a good idea. A few layoffs here and there will help enrich our team. But what we have here is a management problem. No matter what you say, it all comes down to management.
Iota: What exactly are you suggesting?
Epsilon: We should remove both the president and the vice president...along with the entire Board of Directors. Wash away our past.
Iota: That’s us, Epsilon.
Epsilon: Well, I obviously don’t mean us. We should knock everyone else out.
Iota: No, obviously you do mean to include me. You didn’t come to me with this proposal. I just happen to be in the room right now. You’re telling me on a whim, which means you’ve never intended to keep me on.
Epsilon: I intend to now.
Iota: Because you can’t do it alone.
Epsilon: I won’t apologize for being strategic.
Iota: And what happens when you run into Zeta in the bathroom? Are you gonna pull him into the plan and drop me?
Epsilon: You sound paranoid.
Iota: Can you blame me?
Epsilon: Okay, you’re right. I didn’t generate this plan with the intention of you being my partner, but I did plan on having someone as my partner. And I didn’t choose you because you’re literally in the room. I chose you earlier this morning because I believe you to share the least amount of blame for our company woes. I’m not saying you’re the least responsible besides me. You’re even less at fault than I am. I chose you because I need someone to actually stick around to make this company great. I can’t do it alone, not because it’s too much work, but because I wouldn’t be any good in the aftermath. People like you. They need you. You need to step up and become the next Alpha.
Iota: And you’ll be the next Beta?
Epsilon: I plan on retaining my position on the board.
Iota: ...tell me more.
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