Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Microstory 457: Floor 29 (Part 2)

Social Media Manager: Market Researcher! I need you!
Market Researcher: What do you need? I’m up for anything.
Social Media Manager: We are just getting inundated with tons of negative social press. Our accounts on all platforms are just blowing up with elevator jokes, window jokes, and other comments that harm the company’s image. I’ve already uncovered three different memes that make us look bad.
Market Researcher: So you need help with spin.
Social Media Manager: I just need you to spend the lockdown drafting one short, but strong, paragraph for us. In one fell swoop, we need to address the public’s concerns, and shut down the conversation. What we want is a single message for all of our social customers that we can disseminate across all networks. With the microblogs, you’ll post a screenshot with our statement, but it still can’t be too long. If we can say one more thing, and let that be the right thing, then we can prevent any further negative discussion.
Market Researcher: With all due respect, sir, I do not agree that this is the method we want to use.
Social Media Manager: Pardon me?
Market Researcher: I just don’t think it’s the right call. Companies have, in the past, issued single statements. They may have each worked for a time, but people do not forget. That would be especially difficult now that we have all this social media. Information moves so quickly, you can’t just “shut it down”. No matter what you say, people are going to find a way to be negative about it.
Social Media Manager: Well, what would you propose?
Market Researcher: Keep the conversation going, but steer it in the direction that you want. Make it look like the public is in our side, and anyone who’s not, will eventually follow suit. Except for the trolls, but there’s not really anything you can do about that save report them.
Social Media Manager: I’ve been doing my job for God knows how long now. I’ve never heard of anything like that. How exactly do we pretend that the public is on our side? Anything we post will be from our accounts. No, we have to put our foot down.
Market Researcher: We don’t only have our accounts. We also have dummy accounts.
Social Media Manager: Since when?
Market Researcher: I made them weeks ago when I was training on the technical aspects of this department.
Social Media Manager: It still sounds like far too much work, and far too complicated for one person, or even our whole team.
Market Researcher: We won’t have to do it ourselves. I have it on good authority from someone two floors down that someone three floors up has written an automation program that could probably be retooled to our needs.
Social Media Manager: Really? Interesting. [...] Send this supposed coder a message.

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