Special Projects Supervisor: Newest Intern, could you gather everyone for me, please?
Newest Intern: Everyone, everyone! Please gather ‘round! Yes, everyone! The supervisor needs to speak!
Supervisor: [...] Thank you, Newest Intern. I would like to start off by saying that you have all done an amazing job, and we’re all very proud of you. I have just received some unsettling news. The rumors have turned out to be true. Well, some of them have. There are those that believe that Analion is being shut down for good, and that may end up happening, to some extent. For now, however, the organization is making smaller changes. You see, you can’t build something all at once—
Random Worker: Get to the point!
Supervisor: Yes, of course, sorry about that. Sometimes I get in my own head and don’t know how to get out.
Random Worker: Again...!
Supervisor: Right. If you want it quick, then you got it. You’re fired. Actually, we’re fired. You get a new job! You get a new job! You get a new job! I get a new job! You don’t have to go home, but you can’t work here. It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right. I hope you...remember your bobble heads and computer screen squeegees. Go sail away, go sail away, go sail—
Random Worker: Enough! We get it, asshole!
Supervisor: I want you to know what an honor it’s been working with all of you. It’s touching how quickly you’re dispersing. I’m leaving too, don’t think I’m happy about this either. That was a song, but I’m serious. Clean out your desk, they don’t want any of it. And when I tell you to clean it out, that’s exactly what I mean. Take the office supplies, the computer, hell the desk and chair too, if you want. They’re just gonna donate them anyway.
Newest Intern [quietly]: Um, sir, are they really gonna let us have the computers? That sounds expensive.
Supervisor: It is, very. I imagine someone’s gonna be upset when they find out we all stole from the company.
Newest Intern: What do you mean? That was a lie?
Supervisor: Yeah, but look at ‘em. They’re sad, but they’re happy. It’s like a happysa—well, they’re gonna get a free computer at least. And maybe a stapler. That should be good enough for now.
Newest Intern: Sir. Was this department really laid off?
Supervisor: No, look. Everybody quit. All at once. Should make for an interesting tomorrow.
Newest Intern: Sir?
Supervisor: You’ll be fine. We’ll both find jobs somewhere better. For now, just enjoy the circus. It’s our last...special project.
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