Spokesperson: We here at Analion are still in shock at the horrific news of our beloved leader, Alpha’s death. Alpha was a great man, and I don’t believe you could find anyone working for this company who did not feel the same way about him. We also deeply regret the loss of Alpha’s wife, a new temporary receptionist, and another employee who passed from an unrelated incident. At this time, we have no information regarding the nature of Alpha’s death. Nor are we comfortable speculating about exactly what happened with the executive elevator. Any questions regarding these terrible tragedies should be directed towards the appropriate channels, like the police department, and the medical examiner’s office. We would like extend our deepest regrets to the victim’s families, and assure them that we will do everything we can to get to the bottom of these issues, and also that we consider them...part of our family. Um, and then—what the hell is this?
Speechwriter: Go on, you’re not finished yet.
Spokesperson: I am not saying this. It’s all bullshit. You wrote it just now, why am I even bothering to speak it out loud?
Speechwriter: It’s called workshopping. You’re helping me work out the kinks.
Spokesperson: These aren’t kinks, this is meaningless. This just happened, why aren’t we doing something to help? We shouldn’t be up here working on a speech for something that happened two minutes ago.
Speechwriter: Security has ordered us to remain where we are until receiving further instructions.
Spokesperson: Okay, but who is this other employee you’re talking about. How do you know the details?
Speechwriter: Don’t worry about it.
Spokesperson: Nah, this is fishy. None of this feels right. You know something you’re not telling me. You weren’t the least bit surprised to see what we shouldn’t even know for sure is Alpha falling down the atrium. You seem aware of who was in the elevator crash, and now you refuse to explain this other mysterious death. What is going on?
Speechwriter: You wouldn’t understand.
Spokesperson: Try me.
Speechwriter: Have you ever wondered why the pyramids in Egypt were built?
Spokesperson: They’re tombs, or something.
Speechwriter: No, they were designed to focus travel to other planets.
Spokesperson: Oh great, you’re a nutter.
Speechwriter: I’m serious. This building was designed for similar reasons. The atrium serves as an echo chamber. A literal one. It traps temporal disturbances, allowing them to be harnessed.
Spokesperson: What the hell are you talking about?
Speechwriter: Tell me. Do you have any recollection of a group of people known as...the vice presidents?
No comments :
Post a Comment